nightmares
I’ve been having nightmares.. well, what’s new right? But they are keeping me up all night now.. for the past week or more I’ve been getting up with a start and not able to go back to sleep. Two nights ago I woke up choking. So, awesome.
They seem to follow my normal themes of alienation, isolation, and the inability to act… mixed with horror.. zombies have been big lately. Zombie apocalypse even. I really hate zombies.
I could have slept a lot more this morning. Saturday I got to sit around all day with Shannon and that was the best thing ever. Last night, even though I was having fun, I was just sooo freaking tired… and then when I slept it was partially in fear of what was going to happened as soon as I closed my eyes.
I haven’t been inundating myself with horror recently, so I don’t know what gives… maybe it’s not enough horror.. maybe all the shit in my head is actually scaring me… hmm.. that would suck as there’s kind of a lot in there.
What I should really do is do a couple sober weeks again.. I think that helped me last time… and then be sure to do something more than chores the next day.. and then get to sleep on time. Or play video games, all day. Or watch more horror until I become desensitized again… those sound all reasonable things to do. 