The Downward Spiral

jager is the tool of the devil

if I believed in the devil, that would mean something

I think I will puke up some jager just because.. or not.. you know

I love benadryl and it loves me

So since I just basically bitched in my last post and even though I marked it as private, never to be seen again by mere mortals, I thought I should write something about things that don’t suck… you know.. to create the illusion I’m an easy going guy.

One of them is Team Fortress 2.  That game is fucking great.  It only took like.. uh.. 10 years .. for it to come out since the original (well 11 years.. 1996.. and 9 years since 1998 when it was announced) but I dare say it was worth the wait.  I’ve been mostly doing the soldier or demoman (basically depending if I want to shoot straight or around corners) with some stints as a sniper all of which I wreck people with.  I’ve also tried the spy and the pyro, but so far I suck horribly at them.  I have to get more used to the spy as I think I’d be good at that when I figure it out.. but the pyro I think I’m just never gonna like much.  Anyway I’ve been playing a lot of that… and so has Jon.. so that’s fun.

Dexter starts on Sunday.  The new show the Brotherhood will be on right after that.. giving me 2 full hours of unadulterated murder .. and on Sundays too.  That’s sweet and will aid me in my time of mourning or whatever here.

I still like WoW a lot.  I think I’m giving up on Two Worlds though.. it has yet to really impress me… and while it too doesn’t suck.. I have TF2, WoW, and Ninja Gaiden.. and then Dexter and the Brotherhood.. which are (or will be) awesome and not merely ok… so I’ll have no time for it.

Oh and guns.  I love guns.  From my last post which nobody can read except me I shot well on Sunday.  I used my 22 cuz it needed some face time.. I think I’m actually better with my 45 though.  Well I mean I can shoot in roughly the same pattern at damn near any speed with my 22 since the gun hardly moves at all when I fire it, but I can shoot tigher groupings at further away in slow and controlled shots with my 45.  I think it’s more the gun (or maybe the ammo) than me.. and that’s the first time I’ve thought that.  I’m still thinking about the P2000sk for carrying… I kinda just have to find one that’s not a zillion dollars that I can buy without jumping through too many hoops.

Vegas.. Vegas is coming in like 3 weeks or something.  Vegas will also not suck.  Hopefully I somehow don’t spend all my money… that I don’t have… but will gladly hand over in exchange for Vegasness.

This weekend are boat races and a tractor pull down at the lake… that probably won’t suck… but I haven’t really made up my mind if I’m going or not… with other stuff going on (or not going on as the case may be) then maybe I should stay here… with my support group.. aka friends… I dunno.

oop.. asymptotically approaching the last post.. eject eject

So Ann witnessed a shooting yesterday.  I guess a guy was shooting and his sister, who was on the ground, and then the dad came out and got everyone in the car, told Ann and all the onlookers that everything was ok, ran in the house I think.. then everyone got in a car and took off… at least.. I think that’s right
then like zillion cops roll up and freak out.. but they didn’t find any blood or shell casings.. so.. I’m wondering if it was a real gun?  I dunno.  the cops were pretty sure they had something going on there I guess.. Ann asked if they could just kick in the door.. he said believe me I want to.. but I guess they didn’t

sounds all weird to me.. but super scary I’m sure.

passed the MO CCW … all done… so.. monday I turn in my paperwork… wait about 30 to 44.5 days since the Jackson County sheriff is a liberal commie pinko gun hating hippie… and then I take THAT (after waiting a day because computers “take that long” or whatever) to the DMV .. and then I get my business… and can carry a gun just about always to shoot liberal commie pinko possibly gun hating hippies who are bad.

I’m happy with my knuckle dragging gun toting nut job caveman self :)  I got 100 on everything.. the instructor was awesome… I’ll recommend him to everyone.  He’s a retired cop from Colorado who’s seen plenty and knows the law in MO and KS very well… he does both MO and KS sides depending where you live.. he likes MO better… he told us what he’d have to cover for KS.. which.. man I’m still glad I didn’t do KS.

We shot at like 1/10th the minimum range I usually shoot at since no more is required by the state… blowing the center out of the target all 20 qualifying times.  That distance is because of some dude that invented the 21 feet (that’s FEET not YARDS) of normal encounter distances for handguns in defense situations that happen in public… so that was super easy.  He said he’s only seen a few people do something better … like an ex Seal and drew a smiley face … lol… maybe I should have done that.. but see THEN I would have had to put the smilely face on the guy’s head and that would have been outside the 7 ring ;( heheh  But I guess people have done a lot worse.. but mostly elderly people.. like who couldn’t pass… cuz ya.. if you can’t hit the target at 21 feet in a minimum to no stress situation.. holy shit… put down the gun… or .. well.. go to the range a lot more under the supervision of someone.

anyway.. that was a fun ass day.. thanks to Candi again for setting it up and knocking it down.. she did very well too for not having shot in a year… 100% for her too… I just shot better hee hee

one of the other many reasons I’m screwed up… mom really did actually sing this to me when I was little
The Happy Home
– Dr Demento

Remember when you ran away
And I got on my knees and begged you
Not to leave because I’d go berserk?

Well!

You left me anyhow and then
The days got worse and worse
And now you see I’ve gone
Completely out of my mind

And

They’re coming to take me away ha ha
They’re coming to take me away ho ho hee hee ha ha
To the funny farm
Where life is beautiful all the time
And I’ll be happy to see those nice young men
In their clean white coats and
They’re coming to take me away ha ha!

You thought it was a joke and so
You laughed, you laughed
When I said that losing you would
Make me flip my lid

Right?

You know you laughed
I heard you laugh
And then you left but
Now you know I’m utterly mad

And

They’re coming to take me away ha ha
They’re coming to take me away ho ho hee hee ha ha
To the happy home
With flowers and trees and chirping birds
And basket weavers who sit and smile
And twiddle their thumbs and toes and
They’re coming to take me away ha ha!!

I cooked your food I cleaned your home
And this is how you pay me back
For all my unselfish loving deeds

Hah?

Well you just wait, they’ll find you yet
And when they do they’ll put you in
The ASPCA you mangey mutt

And

They’re coming to take me away ha ha
They’re coming to take me away ho ho hee hee ha ha
To the funny farm
Where life is beautiful all the time
And I’ll be happy to see those nice young men
In their clean white coats and
They’re coming to take me away ha ha!

To the happy home
With flowers and trees and chirping birds
And basket weavers who sit and smile
And twiddle their thumbs and toes and
They’re coming to take me away ha ha!!

(mumbled) To the funny farm
Where life is beautiful all the time
And I’ll be happy to see those nice young men
In their clean white coats and
They’re coming to take me away ha ha!

Steven is my kinda guy

Any word you have to hunt for in a thesaurus is the wrong word. There are no exceptions to this rule.
  - Stephen King

So I started playing Two Worlds (on top of WoW and Ninja Gaiden.. and I gotta play Bioshock .. and probably Lair… I know.. I’m a nerd) which is this German RPG. I kinda get a waft of Gothic of it… so you know.. smells like good.  You level to like 5 in about 30 seconds… well less hours then you’d think.

The world looks nice.. combat is a little actiony but mostly RPG (you just hit the button after you gear up.. there is some moving around involved ya, but that’s about it).  I’m going the mage route.. which I might have to go mage/sword fighter and be totally Gothic about it… cuz everyone runs at you and they can fuck your ass up if you are just wearing a sheet… well and there are pretty badass weapons.

One weird thing about it is the dialog.. it’s all Ye Olde English… like ‘forsooth!’ is uttered  more than once… indeed.  ‘Hold there naive and explain thy trespass before I run ye through!’ .. stuff like that.. makes me laugh.. pretty neat that they took the time to put all that in there.

Magic system is kinda neat.. you have spellcards that you kinda add together to make effects.. you can have basically 3 spells with 3 added effects at once ready to go… and then you study (with xp) higher and higher magic to be able to rock people harder.

anyway.. it’s pretty cool.. I wish I had more time to play all this stuff… at least I’m getting inn XP in wow

so the weekend…

got to the lake with Kat about 8 or 9 on Friday and viciously attacked the liquor cabinet.  That worked in getting me seriously hammered all night Friday, still drunk when I woke up Saturday where I began the day with a (very) stiff Bloody Mary, until I finally passed out in my chair after dinner that night.. without stopping to breathe anything else besides the booze at all. 

Captain and grape vodka were devoured.. there was no chance.. those were the main diet.  I was That Guy ™.  Matt and Dad yelled at me for being all drunk around the jetski (I didn’t point out how they had taken the boat at all drunk at 3am and all I was doing was starting the thing up, out of the water) and I’m pretty sure I said awesome stuff to Amanda’s friend down there.

Yes… I’m fucking amazing… and your role model.. I know… oh and a ladies man.

Then on Sunday morning my knee was fucking killing me (still is.. no idea what I did.. talking probably Dr pain here) and my stomach and my skin (sunburned, which all those that know me know that’s bad) so I was sick sick sick the rest of the time.  I slept pretty much there on out until we left about 2 this afternoon.. and then I slept some more.

Oh and I had this superriffic dream… which scared the holy living shit outta me… so much that I’m pretty much sealed the deal on being the worst weekend at the lake ever. (dot com.. I’ll buy the domain)

The dream…

So I had to sleep out on the couch in the living room upstairs for realzies cuz I’m x1 and not x2 so by my own rules, I don’t get a room.  So I was laying there kinda half in and half out during the wee hours of the morning when this little girl came up to my ear and whispered something about them all being dead.  I looked over and saw her out of the corner of my eye as she ran (well kinda crawled really fast) off behind me and disappeared.  Then I looked over toward the door and saw kind of like a graveyard of heads popping out of the ground and some kind of blackened angel above them… smiling.  I was only partially asleep mind you.. basically seeing this layer over the top of my normal vision… so that was more than a little fucked up.  I shot up… kinda yelled something… and then I went back to sleep and rolled over.. trying to forget about it… then, about an hour later, I could have sworn there was something right behind me… like right over top of me watching me sleep… I could HEAR it… so I flipped over really fast and shot back to attack but nothing was there… no one was up.. nothing… just me and my crazy ass head.

so that’s sweet… I’m hurt.. embarrassed… and nuts… super great funtastic weekend… I should probably make a tshirt.